Beard Farms:: 100% home grown hairyness

Beards have gotten a lot of stick over the past few years but, although we won't admit it, I think everyone knows they're the facial accessory to have if you want to get noticed.

What if my brother/sister/mum/dad/girlfriend/boyfrind/cat doesn't want me to have a beard? I hear you ask. What if they don't like the idea but I think a beard would really help me clinch the deal at the big meeting down at the flange assembly shed today?

Nobody to my knowledge (and feel free to correct me) can grow a beard in an emergency situation. That's where FuzzCo beards would come in, home grown beards for the discerning man/woman about town who wants one to slip on when going about their daily business and slip off when they return home at night. Yes there may be fake alternatives out there but anyone who has anything fake gets found out sooner or later, just look at Timmy the Magic Elf Child, soon discovered to be Helga Von TrappydeGass, Germany's answer to Rolf Harris (and she doesn't need to services of FuzzCo).

FuzzCo Facial Fuzzery would be 100% home grown hairyness, there's nothing better.

If I got funding for my beard farm I could start off small with maybe just a field or two and grow a few varieties of beard, maybe a 'tash or two if the conditions were right. Once I'd learnt the ins and outs of mass beard growth I could branch out, buying even more fields and growing even more beards. Maybe even employing otters to guard against beard poachers (obviously these otters would wear pink hotpants to prevent any confusion with the more common water dwelling variety). Y'see I've really thought this through!!

And once I've cornered the market for beard growth they'll be no stopping me!!!